When DID you last go on a first date?
For some of you last week, for others, years ago. Bet you can still remember how it felt though. Especially the getting ready bit.
Here’s the wake up call. EVERY DAY IS A FIRST DATE. With YOU. And you know where your getting ready starts? YOUR UNDERWEAR DRAWER.
(Deep breath. Read on. We’re going in.)
I remember, years ago, a Wise Woman once saying to me, ‘You should never have any underwear that you wouldn’t be willing to wear on a first date’. At the time I had no idea what she was talking about. It was in the era of those all in one body stockings – the ones with the poppers that didn’t make you look like Penny in Dirty Dancing at all. Nope. They cut you in half, gave you the worst VPL ever and occasionally pinged in the most awkward of moments (and you remember where those poppers were…).
So, when she was saying wear those horrendous things every day, the thought was, well, eye watering. And yet I’m minded of the moment in Bridget Jones where she realises she isn’t quite ready for that passionate encounter after all…
But for us it isn’t about that at all.
You see our underwear is the very first item we put onto our bodies every day. It’s often an unconscious choice. Open drawer, reach in, grab Boulder Holder and some pants, wriggle in and job done. If you’re anything like me, you’re so busy multi-tasking that you don’t even notice your pants are on back to front till mid morning loo break. (Oh, that was just me then?).
Let’s check it out then. Recognise any or all of the following?
- Matching sets that don’t match anymore. Because of the washing pants more than bras thing.
- Bras that used to have pants. Pants that used to have bras.
- Pants you’re keeping because you used to love them and man, do they dig in now. So they just sit there all lonely waiting for the day.
- Bras you really like, except now they have the effect of creating two sets of puppies fighting under your top or alternatively there’s enough empty space in there for a bag of sugar (you’re not growing back into these ladies, really you’re not).
- Pants that if they were Farrow and Ball paint would be described as ‘chewing gum white’.
- Bras that have so little tension in them that the back strap could be used as a bow and arrow set. And the straps as a baby bouncer for your door.
- Pretty pretty bras that you can’t wear under any of your tops because of all that lace and pattern (who was the GENIUS that invented T-shirt smooth?).
- Your official ‘sexy’ pants, that make you feel anything but.
- Those undies you peel yourself into, holding in even in the breath in your lungs, that distribute all weight to any space not covered by said garment (knees, elbows, chin?) that allow you to wear that little black dress whilst spending all night waiting for the moment you can GET IT OFF. Oh, the relief when you do…
- And yep, it’s got to be said, digging deep here friends, and they are in your drawer, we KNOW it, your Period Pants. Important when we’re feeling as unwomanly as possible to help ourselves out with the big tanker pants. They help a lot.
SISTER, DOES THAT DRAWER EVEN SHUT???
Are your tights in there all mixed up like a ball of string? Good Lord, WHAT IS THAT CRISP PACKET DOING IN THERE??
What does all this say? That it’s so easy to forget ourselves? Forget that we are important. Forget how we feel about ourselves is important. That it’s super easy to be on auto pilot from the get to and maybe, just maybe, you’re putting yourself at the bottom of the pile. Just under that crisp packet.
Now let me be clear, I’m not saying we need to be wearing froo froo intimate sets that cost the price of a small house. I’m definitely saying that WE COULD START THE SELF CARE HERE. Recognising that we are important in the small messages we send to ourselves at the start of every day. That the way we treat ourselves demonstrates what we truly believe. What we hide and what we think about ourselves on the inside, that’s what we’re here to clear up. And you can make changes in that funny old drawer that will help..
Here’s some of OUR guidelines…
- when you buy a bra, buy at least 2 matching sets of pants. That way when you go away you can pack light and the set lasts longer.
- get nude instead of white unless you love handwashing or buying Vanish, or having grey pants (in which case buy grey ones!)
- Have a ‘comfy’ set – smoothline, seamfree, soft lycra, that’s like a second skin in a good way.
- Drop any ‘it must be a set’ notions. Go for colours that make you smile and brighten your day.
- Cut out all labels – who cares what size we are? And they’re itchy anyway!
- Maximum bras needed, 7. Pants, 14. Maximum. (Danielle has ‘gym pants’. She says they’re a thing. I have no idea what they are. Apparently they allow you to have more.)
Here’s your challenge – an UNDERWEAR EDIT!
Send a photo of your before drawer to your friends, or post it to our Facebook page. Just for a laugh. We’re all friends.
Empty the drawer(s) on your bed for the BIG CULL. Anything that fits our 10 points above needs to go. Especially point 10.
Look at every item and ask ‘does it bring me joy?’. No joy, no keepin.
Got some space now? You can put them back in if you like, and if you’ve got a tiny bit of post Christmas cash left, we recommend the next step too…
Go and buy yourself ONE FABULOUS pair of pants (bra too if cash allows). Ones that make you feel like Beyonce – happy, powerful, sexy (none of these words have anything to do with weight or the size of your boobs!). You decide. Buy them for YOU. For your first date with YOU.
And share them with us. You don’t have to be wearing them…
Loving you. Always.
PS Somebody Inside are proud to be hosting Embrace the Documentary, Taryn Brumfitt’s amazing film on Body Image and Body Confidence on 15th February, at Odeon Cinema, Lothian Road Edinburgh.
To get your tickets to this phenomenal film, screening all over the UK from Jan 16th (and shortly to return to the USA), click here: https://uk.demand.film/embrace/
Get in quick after press in The Guardian and Glamour magazine this week and TV slots coming up next week they’re selling out fast (we’ve already had to move to a bigger screen!).