48 things I learned last year

Happy new year

Happy new year

I’m not one for new year’s resolutions. Not anymore. I now know there’s far more power in what I’m learning and putting my attention on how I can build this into being my Best Self, including, for example, my daily habits – those tiny things that we do without even thinking about them.


Things like switching on the computer to see who has written to us before we decide what’s important. Which is the same as saying “Everyone else gets first dibs on MY day” and then muttering there’s never enough time when really we mean we made some dumb ass choices on how we spent it…


I do enjoy taking stock at this time of year though and capturing what I now know. Why? It reminds me that even if everything looks the same, much has changed – I am not the same girl I was.


Every day we are learning something and unless we notice it, we can unconsciously look to repeat the old lessons again.


Lordy knows some of the lessons have been real Masterclasses (more to come).


So basically, I’m a big fan of growth rather than groundhog.


Here’s just some of what I’ve learned this year – no particularly order. I’m deliberately keeping the descriptions concise. As you can imagine I’ve got lots more to say and trust me there’s some hum-dinger of blogs coming your way based on these insights. Seems Danielle and I so often get to go first so we can share the wisdom (yep that’s another learn right there!);


  1. Language is important and shapes our world; For me; should, musts, have to’s are simply obligation, duty and heaviness. Replacing them with ‘I choose to…’ makes a huge difference to my energy and my commitment to taking action.


  1. Comparison can either Hurt or Create. You can either look at another and see the gap as a deficiency in you or not-enough-ness (I’ve done this many times this year…you can guess!) or you can see it as an invitation to Be EVEN MORE. To be inspired, to explore where you can bring even more of you to the world, to get outside of your own comfort zone. To create YOUR PATH. It’s the same gap, but what a different energy!


  1. Everyone at some point has had the imposter voice in their head. Even those that look to have it nailed. Isn’t it far more empowering to simply decide that maybe they are simply choosing to show up anyway and do the same yourself?


  1. Despite my life motto being “what if this was easy?”, I can still make easy hard. In so many ways. When ANYTHING feels hard, I KNOW there’s gold in there for me to see. There is always a different way. Always.


  1. There is no end point; there’s not even a place to get to. I truly thought I had this nailed, it was a trap. Sage teachers have often said to me ‘there’s always more” and I see it. “A true master is an eternal student”. Albeit sometimes an impatient one.


  1. My back is my Compass (my actual physical back); for years I have chosen to ignore it. I genuinely believed it was Danielle’s masterclass not mine. Seems it’s one we share. This year it dialled up its voice to remind me that to be Grounded and Embodied, I have to listen to my body. Otherwise it literally has me bent double, unable to stand or speak with the pain. It’s a new language for me. And yep the belief that I could “out run it” or “quick fix it” has been busted.


  1. Protect the asset; I am the asset. I know it and I also know how powerfully I want to serve the world.  This year I learnt AGAIN that if I compromise on my fundamentals my ability to do that is compromised. And it hurt. I thought I could cut corners for the “right or noble” reasons’. You can’t. When we neglect ourselves, everyone is impacted. Fact.


  1. The way I START my day has a huge impact on it. In fact, I now deliberately set them up to be Masterpiece Days; it’s a work in progress and the difference is already remarkable.


  1. Sugar really isn’t good for me; and I’m not ready to give it up yet.


  1. “I don’t know” isn’t a brick wall or a reason to stop. When I ask “what do I know?” there’s always a step I can take. Even if that’s to ask for help.


  1. Luminosity is an INSIDE job. It’s taken me 47 years to really see the depth of that statement.


  1. Congruence is a super power; when you are the same person publicly, personally and professionally no one has anything on you.  Thank you Michelle O.


  1. I am a Queen in training. Still. I got very familiar hanging out in Victim even though I dressed it well.


  1. My obsession with time scarcity gets me in trouble. When I treat time as precious rather than scarce, I make different choices. Priorities become clearer.


  1. I love my clients; I think about them all the time. Their pictures in our home are important to me, they become part of our family. I care about them so much I don’t care what they think of me. It’s not always easy and it’s a deep privilege to serve them. They teach me and inspire me beyond words.


  1. I am a Lighthouse; my presence alone moves people, often to tears. And creates break throughs. Apparently it also gives some people the heebie-jeebies. Protecting the asset is how I get to keep my light consistently on.


  1. I am incredibly intuitive; my daft decisions come when I ignore this. I have made the most powerful choices based on my inner knowing alone including becoming a Meditation Monk. It completely changed the whole of my life. Forever.


  1. Guilt and shame are familiar demons to me, like old friends. They may be unwelcome; they come anyway. I’m learning to not care.


  1. Being stuck is a feeling not a fixed state. It’s a moment in time. When I move my energy, the feeling changes.


  1. Everything in my life has happened for a reason. Even the parts that I didn’t want or like, in fact especially those parts. I am stunned at the beauty of the kaleidoscope.


  1. My deepest learning and growth has always come from my Masterclasses (intense personal experiences, often deeply uncomfortable or painful that we wouldn’t have chosen for ourselves). Challenges do make me stronger. I might never like them.


  1. Life is constantly unfolding and offering me a direct invitation to play or participate. It’s funny how often I still lean out and say “let me think about it”.


  1. Drinking water is a discipline that still has to be tracked. Otherwise I can go days without drinking any. Bonkers and true.


  1. The only thing getting in my own way is ME. And even when I do try to step up, life is still beyond my wildest dreams. Seems I truly am being shown there’s an easier way!


  1. I CAN write – especially when its live and fresh within me. If I wait and schedule it, it’s a totally different story.


  1. I am an Essentialist. That’s a whole blog right there.


  1. It’s not what you say or do, it’s how you make people feel. And years later, I still feel deep regret for the way I’ve treated others. Learning to have non-negotiables came the hard way. Others have moved on whilst the burn of being out of integrity lingers. Its why (12) is now so important to me.


  1. How many books have I read versus how read are my books? I focus now on the latter. It’s a game changer.


  1. Life truly is full of sliding doors. I can see so many moments now in my life where the whole script pivoted. In the most dramatic ways imaginable.


  1. Between stimulus and response is a gap called CHOICE. The more I slow down, the more I see that there is a choice AND the more powerful the choice becomes.


  1. We all get 365 days a year. The only difference between us is what we do with them. I see the old excuse of saying “there’s not enough time’ when actually I mean I’m still wasting it.


  1. There is a big difference between nourishing v numbing. I’m still learning that the art of self-care and how to value it.


  1. I don’t need to wait to teach or to show up as sorted; in fact, when I do, from that place, its inauthentic. People simply want to hear my experience; that alone has changed lives.


  1. I’m still holding others at arm’s length; allowing them to see only parts of me. I’m intrigued by this and committed to showing up. Fully.


  1. I still miss my Mum most days despite the fact I feel her presence. My mind tries to make me feel guilty when I forget.  Strange and true. Instead I’m learning to smile.


  1. I experience moments of envy when I see daughters shopping with their Mums – it seems casual. I ache some days for that. And yet even as I type this, I feel her hand stroking mine. Sadness and contentment can and do co-exist.


  1. Reporting on what’s wrong in your life v Creating what you want makes a huge difference. Mahooosive


  1. I am a type Ennegram 9 – a Peace-Maker. I learnt at an early age to be quiet, nice and ideally to disappear. I am finding my voice. I have things to say. I CREATE Peace not keep it.


  1. Clutter takes energy from me; I feel physically tired and even stressed. I LOVE space. And yet still hoard in some areas of my life. This will be a focus in 2019.


  1. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t feel tired. Its years. I’ve been caught up in the story of it. Now I am a student of energy looking to discover how to create it.


  1. Geographically, I discovered, that if I didn’t know which way to go, I’d always go left (and I didn’t even know THAT!) Scaled up it meant that I chose the familiar path every time. Choice; follow what you already KNOW or choose DISCOVERY. One feels way more alive and fun.


  1. Resourcefulness is just a skill and it can be learnt. It simply takes practice.


  1. My crazy lady always starts with “it will be hard”. Bless her.


  1. My Mum loved me especially when it looked like she didn’t.


  1. When I hold on or look back, it stops me CREATING in the NOW because my mind chatters on about “what if it’s not as good…” Here’s a different question; WHAT IF IT’S BETTER? It always has been. Honestly.


  1. How something looks has been more important to me that how it actually is. Not Stepford wives and a flavour of. It was easier (though not really) to focus on perfect than real. I am learning the power of authenticity. It’s incredibly liberating.


  1. The people I have around me are incredibly important; they are my clean mirrors. They show me who I truly am and what I am capable of. It’s often uncomfortable and its Truth. There’s not a single day passes that I don’t feel grateful to them.


  1. I still spend a huge amount of time sitting on my bum-bum


Let me know which ones resonate for you. I am committed to showing up with even more of my lessons even the ones I haven’t worked out yet! Especially those….


Big Love


Nic x

2 thoughts on “48 things I learned last year”

  1. Loved this list. Number 30 particularly resonated for me. I really hope you’re going to be expanding on all these as I’d love to hear more!

  2. Aw bless you. Isn’t it funny how fast we become at REACTING that we don’t even see the gap? Until we do __

    And funny you should mention expanding on them.

    Someone has challenged me to write them all up and create a book of wisdom…..

    Who knows..?

    Nic x

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